I wanna get out of here, as fast as possible.
I don't like it here, really.
I don't like it's people, place, food, anything...
I wanna back home...
我知道错了
要是这次考不过的话，我并不意外。我知道自己不够努力，考试时又紧张到重要的步骤都忘了。 回想起来我的Internal Medicine posting, 真的是过得很烂，也不适应。那个不知道，这个不知道。要是考不过的话，我也有了心里准备。
我知道，我不可以气馁，我要振作，再站起来，不可以再犯同样的错误。我知道自己错在哪里，还有哪里需要改进。星期三和星期四还有考试，有可能我已经是注定考不过的了，但是，剩下的这两张考卷，还是尽力做到最好吧。是时候比别人更努力了。但是，我好事希望不用重考。
笨蛋，要加油。
Be Brave
I'm not afraid of "you",
I'm going to conquer "you" tomorrow!!!
Hope that I will not make a fool of myself...
Dear Father, please protect, and give me courage and wisdom to go through the test tomorrow..
This morning
I woke up this morning full with burdens in my head.
EXAMS
LIES
LOGBOOK
Matthew 11:28
Come to me, all you are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
越来越空虚
牧师，第一次看到我新来的，
会来认识认识，
第二次，第三次，第四次，就没了。
去唱唱歌，听听讲道，
不管那时我多么地感受到上帝的存在，
出了教堂，却又忘了一干二净。
还是继续着这个讨厌的人生。
去，回，去，回，就是这样重复着。
教堂里一大堆兄弟姐妹，
但是他们都有了自己的圈子，
别的人，都不重要了。
我，不管去了多少次，
也只是个过路人。
"Happiness"-actually it's simple
My friends and I saw a patient with recurrent epilepsy this evening. We approached him and try to clerk him. He was a small man, who seemed excited about everything. These were some of the funny conversations we had.
Us: Uncle, pagi!! Kami pelajar perubatan.....(bla bla)
Uncle: PAGI!!!
Us: Uncle umur berapa sudah?
Uncle: 28 (Actually, he was 48..XD)
Us: Uncle kenapa masuk hospital, sakit apa?
Uncle: JANTUNG! (but he showed us his hand-we thought it was his hand that had problem)
Us: Uncle boleh cakap satu ayat tak? Seperti: "Nama saya Lee X X."
Uncle: Lee X X!
Us: Uncle, kata "Nama saya Lee X X."
Uncle: LEE X X!!
His brain had not been functioning well. Sometimes, he understood us, sometimes, he didn't. He talked what he like. His wife was beside her. She answered our questions for him. She was strong...Although her husband was in bad condition, she still smiled along when she answered our questions. While answering us, sometimes she would turn to her husband and talked to him. Not understanding what his wife told him, he just smiled back at her. That smile was pure and sincere, and I could not see it anywhere on other people.
Why?
We had been shaped-up and veiled by the burdens and worries in this world, until...we had forgotten on how to be truly happy.
我在“负”中...
人在倒霉的时候啊，真的是特别的倒霉。
昨晚，肚子又特别地痛，痛到哭了起来。
我就拿起了一粒Ranitidine吞下去，希望会有帮助。
感谢主，肚子慢慢地不会痛了。
现在的我，终于明白胃痛病人的痛苦和害怕。
倒霉的事情还没完，当我想要睡觉时，竟然停电了。
虽然没风扇，但是我实在是很累了，就这样躺下去睡。
如果是之前的我，肯定是睡不着。
唉，幸运天使，健康天使，你们都去哪里了？
I want to be a good doctor
This afternoon, I went to klinik warga to see a doctor. The clinic was supposed to be opened at 2pm, but it opened at 2.15pm. I knew it was not too late, but for me, it was a suffering. Bearing the pain, I waited patiently outside.
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Okay, it was opened then. But, the clerk at the registration counter had not arrived. There were so many patients already waiting for registration. Okay, then she came, slowly, leisurely. My flame of anger started to spark off.
After taking the waiting number, I found a chair to sit, feeling extremely tired. Again, it
was another long waiting. I felt frustrated with waiting, and I open a mini game in my handphone to play with. I bet the doctor was still chatting inside the room. I felt wanna burst inside the room and asked: "Hey, I am suffering here?"
At last, the bell rang. It was my turn. When I went into the room, my first glance laid on two people (doctor and nurse), chit-chatting as they didn't realize there were so many patients waiting desperately to be treated.
My chief complain was epigastric pain, but I was told to check for my full blood count (whether I was anaemic-she said I looked pale. Pleaselah, I always seem pale. Furthermore, I did not have enough sleep yesterday. I was tired) and check for thyroid function test (Hmm...I doubted this. My tremor can be benign essential tremor, and my fast pulse rate can be because I was ill mah...). Besides, she asked me to review the test result one week later. Wow, need took so long time? By that time, I had recoverd.
To take the blood, I was told to go to Medical Ward 2. The doctor there seems SOO busy. It was 3.15pm. He asked me to wait until 5 o'clock (OMG, are you serious? Venipuncture won't take you so much time k, you wanted me to wait for you ah? I was sooo tired already).
So, I go find my friends to do it for me. My vein was poked 2 times, and unfortunately, both of them failed. And....my hands nearly suffered from ischaemia due to long duration of torniquette. I saw my hands went blue, I was a little shocked that time, and asked them to release the torniquette. Although failed, I felt really grateful to them because they were willing to help me.
I went to Medical Ward 5, and spotted a few seniors. I asked them to help me. They were so willing to help :') He poked my vein confidently, and the blood..whoa la la...came out swiftly and smoothly. Oh my blood~at last you want to come out already ya? It was already 430pm by that time.
I went back to Medical Ward 2 to pass the 2 vials of blood to the doctor there just now. But what I saw is another doctor. The doctor who just now asked me to wait for him, had went back???? (他妈的)....What an arrogant doctor! Nevermind nevermind, I know you were superiorly up there and I was inferiorly down here.
After all this hustle and bustle, I went back. What a moody day. I was really tired today, and my back ached again. Oh Health, please come back to me T_T
I was not in good mood while writing this post. So many harsh words come out =_= Sick people always like this de la~
1st attempt: failed, but less painful.
2nd attempt: failed, painful~haematoma some more.
3rd attempt: successful! So touched at the moment when the blood came out.
Stomachache
It was really a scary experience last night. I woke up during the night due to stomachache. This was the 1st time I had it, and I felt scared.
I swallowed 3 tablets of gastric pain medications, drank a cup of nespray, and put a bottle of warm water on my painful stomach.
I tried to sleep, hugging that bottle of warm bottle. I fall asleep after a while, but then I woke up again. The bottle was not warm anymore, and my stomach started to feel painful again.
Feeling weak, I poured in warm water into the bottle again, and try to sleep. I fall asleep again, until I woke up this morning.
I wanted to see a doctor (sob sob)...
感谢祂
我觉得自己还满厉害的，
每次当我难过得要死时，
到后来都会恢复起来，
再次振作起来。
这几天，
䑮在房间里，
跟祂哭诉，
真的很庆幸有祂。
开了很久没听的教堂歌，
觉得。。。
非常。。。
非常，的安慰。
这不是第一次了，
祂总是不离不泣地陪着我，
让我不孤单，
在黑暗里看到了曙光。
祂每次都让我深深地感动，
如此地温暖，
那种感觉，
真的很难用言语来表达。
感谢天父，
你这个女儿，
真的是永远都长不大。
It's raining
It's been a hard day,
I need someone to be there for me,
but it seems there's no one i can turn to,
I feel...so alone.
I feel like want hide somewhere and sleep,
so that I don't have to feel and think.
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